Halsey has said losing their personality was one of the most challenging aspects when they were being treated for chronic illnesses.
The American pop star, who uses she/they pronouns and whose real name is Ashley Frangipane, previously revealed they were diagnosed with lupus in 2022 and later a rare T-cell lymphoproliferative disorder.
The Without Me singer, who welcomed their first child in 2021, confirmed the conditions were both in remission but they were "lucky to be alive" in social media posts in June.
They told the UK Rolling Stone magazine: "I think the s*****est thing that happens when you have a significant illness is that you just lose your personality.
"Your body's like, 'I can’t burn energy on that. I don’t have enough in the bank for that, not enough in the tank.’"
The singer, 30, recalled that they also felt disconnected from their body when going through the illnesses.
"At the time, that was a good thing, but you can accept your body too much", they said.
"I took it too far and ended up disassociating. There’s a difference between accepting your body and ignoring it."
While coming to terms and being treated for the illnesses, the singer was navigating being a new mother and their relationship breaking down.
They said: "I never pictured myself as a happy family. Whenever I would fantasise about being a mum, it was just me and my kid. And not in a defensive ‘I don’t trust people’ way, that was just how it would show up.
"It was interesting when we tried to make a family unit work for a while. As soon as I got used to it and I liked it, I had the rug pulled out from underneath me.
"I became a single mum. I guess I always knew subconsciously."
However, becoming a mother has been a central focus for Frangipane throughout their life.
They said: "In hindsight, I have always wanted to be a mum more than anything because as much as I love my career, and no matter how intoxicatingly captive some of the relationships I’ve been in were, any time the conversation came up of, ‘You need to not do this, or we’re not getting closer to you being able to have a baby,’ that was all I needed to hear. Nothing else could get through to me but that."
In their forthcoming fifth album, The Great Impersonator, the singer explores this tumultuous period and themes including motherhood, postpartum depression and growing up.
They said meeting their new partner also helped in coming to terms with things, adding: "I don’t know where I’d be without him. He’s been instrumental in my healing, my recovery, my self-concept.
"Not just from being sick, but I was still grappling with postpartum depression. I didn’t know how to be a person separate from being a mom.
"I didn’t feel very autonomous in my body. But he really made me want to try because I liked him so much.
"It motivated me to work on myself at a time when I desperately needed to."
Source: Press Association
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